While I was sleeping, my phone decided that I was in New York. I am not. I am in Nashville. But the clock on my phone changed to NY time. All. By. Itself. I thought I was sleeping in this morning. I wasn’t. Just had the wrong time. When I realized what was wrong, I tried to change the settings. It is a new phone and it took a minute to figure out where those controls were.
That is when the phone told me that I was not old enough to make changes. Y’all, I’m not ancient, but I am not young by any stretch of the imagination. Certainly I was not born in 2008 as my phone was claiming. I would love to be able to set a clock back and instantly be younger. Where is McFly’s time machine when you need it? I accepted my fate, admitted my age, and came to terms with real time all before coffee.
Time is a tricky thing. You despair of having too little of it until you suddenly have too much.
I lost my job right between the Nashville tornado and the Covid-19 self-quarantining. So a rogue phone isn’t the most surreal thing right in my life right now. Not much seems real. All my kids lost their jobs or lost most of their scheduled hours, as well as their favorite East Nashville hot spots
The whole world seems to be living this surreal dream to some extent. I have friends who have the virus, I know people who lost businesses and homes, and there are thousands of us without jobs. Those are the facts.
But here is the truth: I trust God with it all. He knows what is coming. He knows what I need. He is as close as my next breath. I choose to trust this surreal situation to the one who holds the whole world and all the clocks in His hands. If we lose houses, jobs, or friends, He is still my God and I trust Him. Whether the virus was a plot by one country to exert control over another, I trust God. Whether the banks close and our country sinks into a depression, I trust God. Whether I get the virus or not, find toilet paper or not, or have to start using a bra cup as a face mask, I will continue to trust. He has always taken care of my family. He has always been faithful to me. Why would I abandon that and panic now? Even if I suffer, He is a good God.
“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18 NLT).
What are you seeing now? Pain, hardship, inconvenience? Don’t give into it. Find the good, the fun, the tasty. Play a game. Bake bread or cookies or lasagna (or all of those). Help a neighbor. Encourage a friend. Pray, journal, dance, have long conversations with old friends, pet your dog, annoy your cat, read a good book, read the Good Book, prepare a budget…or use the time to start working on your big dream. How you handle the waiting determines the success of your next steps. If you have been given the gift of time during this pandemic, don’t simply wait until life gets back to normal, make something wonderful out of what you’ve been given.
I am spending some of my time building a website, writing, updating our business plan, learning to draw, and looking for jobs. But I am also adventuring in the kitchen. I am trying new recipes and updating old ones. I love tinkering in around the stove. Oh, the cakes, truffles, and breads we can try! We may gain, as some are saying, “the quarantine fifteen,” but I can live with that. But if the eating gets too out of control, I may need to petition you for some TP.
How are you filling your time? Please leave a comment and let me know. Are you cooking, watching Disney+, writing your memoir, building that shed, painting a wall or a portrait, surviving? Starting an Etsy shop that sells bedazzled face masks? Give me suggestions on what to try next, especially if it includes a recipe!
The girls and I are keeping busy with crafts, books, a rather loose grip on tablet time for them and a very loose grip on carbs for us all. That was fun while it lasted, but for me, I have to get back on track with my eating or my quarantine fifteen will be closer to a quarantine 25. I can do that just by looking at grains sideways, lol. So, I’m checking on neighbors and friends, letting the girls entertain themselves without me a bit more, attempting to comfort my worried mother and getting our house decluttered room by room today. Something about decluttering the physical winds up decluttering my mind too. I have all but lost my job at the learning center at this point, with re-opening being unlikely for the rest of the school year and our enrollments dropping, mandates or not. Can I accomplish any of my bigger dreams while quarantined? Yes, if I knew where to start. God does, so I’m going to Him with those dreams and praying for physical healing from nicotine addiction and back/foot/ankle stuff. Gotta be strong if I’m going to establish an off-grid, post-apocalyptic, self-contained “Mad Max” compound and look good cruising around in a dune buggy and loin cloths. All kidding aside, I do feel life as we know it is changed for the long haul, we are extremely close to losing the house even before this pandemic and my abilities are few, as far as I can see. Lord, give me new eyes.
Praying for you Carrie. It is a difficult time. Keeping busy helps. And I am with you on the carb loading. I am in trouble. Trying to get a grip on this new normal. Not there yet. God bless you, the girls, and your mom!